The following has been taken from extracts of a book called The defining Decade by Dr Meg Jay.
There was so much in a small extract that made me think " yes" "That's so true" that I had to have a wee bit of exposure here. The book is aimed at people in their 20's, having a daughter in her 20's I was drawn, but actually, the jist is relevant to most, and important to many..
THE TYRANNY OF 'THE SHOULD'
We all have potential. Part of realising that potential, is recognizing how our gifts and our limitations equip us to cope with challenges and opportunities.
It becomes a quest for glory when we learn MORE about what is IDEAL than what is REAL.
Influences of parents, peers, social media abound, the influential source is often easily spotted because its propelled by the tyranny of THE SHOULD!.
Work should be wow! My life should look better, I should have a partner, I should be thinner, I should have known better, I should be able to afford that!
Shoulds are paralysing judgements and they set up a false dichotomy between an ideal and failure.
Especially for those in their 20's who feel they SHOULD......remember, reaching your potential is rarely achieved in your 20's.
Personal, intellectual, financial and psychological growth takes time and the art of recognizing all that lies in between the SHOULD and FAILURE or SUCCESS. Growth comes from investing in what is in front of you. To do that you have to see the potential in that which confronts you.
Remember, confidence actually does not come from the inside out. Confidence grows with wins and losses, moments of success and yes, failure, as both tend to make us rethink our current stance in the light of our strengths and weaknesses..
I have never met a successful human who has not failed repeatedly.